THERE'S SOMETHING ROTTEN IN OTTAWA (AND AT THE WHITE HOUSE TOO!)

To this bear's nose, and despite the distance, something smells rotten in Ottawa. On this Sunday, the Conservative government has unveiled a plan to spend $300 million over four years to encourage homeowners, businesses and industry to use energy more efficiently. Former Liberal leadership contender Bob Rae has charged that the Harper Conservatives now realize that they have missed the boat completely on the environment in general, and on global warming in particular. My gut tells me that the Conservatives are switching positions on the environment as fast as they can. Harper, the focused chihuahua of the North at the service of emperor Bush knows that if they don't come up with some theatrical declarations in favor of the Arctic, they are going to lose the next federal election. That sly fox of Brian Mulroney has been pushing that message for a while because he knows that the Conservatives have to neutralize quickly both the green Dion, le chef liberal, and the surprising upsurge of the Green Party. Also, preparing the optics for the coming election, in order to woo the vote of Arab Canadians in Quebec, Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay expressed concerns about the route of Israel's security barrier on his recent tour of the Middle East. And yet, having the occasion, with his Israeli counterpart Tzipi Livni by his side and in front of the cameras, he kept silent about a number of UN Resolutions recognizing the right to return of the Palestinian refugees.
My fellow bears could argue that the situation in the Middle East or the inevitable US defeat (again) in Irak have absolute no relationship with the preservation of our Arctic environment. But the link between us bears and the absurd invason of Irak is profound. The House of Bush sent hundreds of thousands of American kids to invade a country, after lying to them and their families that crafty devil of Saddam was hiding weapons of mass destruction. (Saddam the despot, the good old friend of Rumsfeld during the war against Iran) It was a wholly funguticus lie. Wolfowitz himself declared that the only reason to invade Irak was to make sure that only American oil elites would reap the benefits of such resource. The White House, instead of establishing benchmarks for the construcction of new cars less polluting, less oil consuming, instead of funding massively public transportation, instead of promoting a new economy with less oil, the Bush, the Cheney and all the oil plutocrats just simply dont get a rat's ass for the environment. They just want to get the oil, the money and let the planet, with all the bears and the humans, go to the devil's hole. Also this bear has no doubt that most kinds under uniform are true patriots, but how many had to go to the army to try to get education that otherwise is accesible only to the rich? how many of those kids are in Irak with the illusion of getting their papers and become legal residents? And how many children of the oil plutocrats are in the army, risking their necks in Irak? You won't get this research on FOX or CNN, because there is nothing more tragic than a misinformed patriot. Or a leader proud of his own ignorance.

MY FAILED HIBERNATION

This long silence started with an email from a friend from the South (actually Nelson, BC), a brown bear with the name of Roosevelt. He said that I shouldn't complain so much on behalf of polar bears about the climate up here. According to Roosevelt, brown bears were wandering in the forests, all screwed-up and confused with the environmental changes. "We simply can't hibernate!, it's too warm and soggy inside our dens! If you don't believe me, jut try it!" He seemed very depressed. (You would also be depressed if scientist decide to label you with a name like Ursus Arctos Horribilis. That is his name. It is a horrible name. So he changed it to Roosevelt, I guess in hommage to the US president, and being an omnivore grizzly as he is, Rossevelt has a penchant for lost American hunters. He says they are a bit bigger and chewy than slinky Canadians)
So I did try to hibernate. It feel OK for the first week or two. But after that it was hell. It was like trying to sleep under a pile of wet towels after a sweaty hockey game. It was like going to the Bahamas inside a parka. If Roosevelt thinks that I shouldn't complain about the weather, he is really the one who shouldn't complain. After all, there are about 200,000 brown bears in the world. The largest populations are in Russia, with 120,000, the United States, with 32,500, and Canada with 21,750. In comparison, Polar Bears like me, we number only 25,000 in the entire planet. Better, in the whole Solar System. We have to reproduce. And fast. For this 2007 I'll dedicate myself to such noble and titillating endeavor.