ONE BEAR PER WEEK

Have you ever seen mi pawns? To have an idea, put together both thumbs and stretch your fingers sideways. Do you see how wide your ten fingers and two hands become? Well, that's the size of just ONE of my pawns. Now, try to type your next blog posting with such devices. It's like trying to hold a butterfly with a boxing glove. That's why I write only once a week, unless I end up swimming for days in the sea, looking for a decent chunk of ice to rest and sleep after chasing seals without good results.
Now that October is around the corner, we bears must go to town before winter settles in. And town for us is Churchill, a tiny spot in Manitoba. Here are few lines written by Jamie Doward on a Sunday edition of The Observer: "Churchill describes itself as the polar bear capital of the world, and if it wasn't for the bears it would struggle to exist. The town is a testament to the way eco-tourism is now big business, a force for regeneration. In October, Canada's bears start their migration north into the Arctic, where they devour seals with abandon and nearly double their body weight. Situated on the south-western edge of the mighty Hudson Bay, the town lies slap bang in the path of the bears as they head for colder climes. The huge mammals can move at more than 30 mph, even those that weigh more than 1,000lb (70 stone) and stand 12ft tall on their back legs. They look semi-comatose, the result of having not eaten for months, but the merest whiff of food will send them charging across the ice."
Now just to scare your socks off there are some horror stories about bear attacks. It's true that for us bears a human is a tasty snack when there's nothing else around to eat. Hunting seals is getting harder these days because of the thinning ice up North. On top of this, a seal will never approach a bear. On the contrary. But guess who comes around with a video or a photo camera in hand? Not a seal but a human. And, of course, we are not going to eat the camera. (it's REALLY hard to digest) But we are hungry. And the humans are there, sleeping inside the tent. The spirit is strong, but the gut is weak. And by the way, why are we not getting our regular, traditional meals? Because of the Grasshopper Effect! So, please, don't blame us. Consider yourself tasty indeed. Think of this when you drive your car. Alone. And there's a bus, public transportation. Who knows, if you use more public transportation, in the long run we wont need to hunt these furless humans thet venture in our vast lands. If you use public transportation at leat once a week I won't eat you. I promess that with my big paw around your shoulder.

THE CANADIAN TOOTHPICK AND THE US PRESIDENT

Some bad bears told me that a toothpick has more brain cells than president George W. Bush. I refused to believe such nonsense. Go eat fungus! I told my fellow brown bears in disbelief. But I'm starting to suspect that they may be right after all. I saw that man people call "mr. presidente" on TV, giving a scared seven minute speech to the young American soldiers clapping around him in the sands of Anbar province. He was STANDING on the sands of Irak. Like, that's going to happen to the entire planet if humans don't curb their gas guzzling and their fantastic way of consuming the resources of our world. And yet the man was saying the same old tirade about terrorist rampaging on the streets of downtown USA (which, to say the least, leaves the conclusion that his entire army of border guards are a clueless bunch of penguins that won't be able to stop what they call "terrorists"). If anybody comes to meddle in a bear's home, or wants to occupy a bear's den, the bear will be so mad that he'll chew to pieces the intruder's derrière until he leaves. My instinct tells me that that's happening in Irak. The British got wind of it. They took their calculators, added how many acts of violence were happening in Basra and they realized that they were the main cause of so much angry rockets, home-made road bombs and general shooting. So they decided to leave. I'm totally convinced that if the USA was ever invaded, every American citizen would become a crafty insurgent against the occupation. No less can be expected of ordinary Iraqis. That is why every American life lost in Iraq is a double loss because there is no glory in dying on behalf of a lying president and his hyper-rich friends. (Wolfowitz himself admitted that the invasion was launched to get the Iraqi oil before anybody else)
Bush was in Irak today to snub his own puppet, Maliki, and to justify a war based on lies. First was the funguticus about weapons of mass destruction. None was found. Now he wants people to believe that they had to invade and remain in Irak in order to fight terrorism. This man may actually be the lost link between reptiles and humans, because he continues and insists in being lost. His own CIA told him a number of times that there was absolutely no link between Hussein and the compadre of the Bush family, Osama ben Laden. It was George Bush senior who funnelled tons of cash to the mujahedeen boys so they can keep fighting the Soviets in Afghanistan on behalf of the Americans. In a way, Al Qaeda is the son with the turban of US foreign policy in the region. The house of Bush fomented their existence, they gave them weapons, money, and the confidence that, if they can defeat the Soviets, they can also defeat the Americans.
Another interesting element is that four years after the invasion, Bush still has to enter Irak like a thief. Not even the most powerful army on the planet can guarantee his safety if he was ever to announce his visit in advance. Just like a thief, or a coward. Give him an M16 and a helmet and send him to Sadr City. The man will piss in his pants. Now what concerns this bear is not the sad limitations of a befuddling American president. What worries all bears is that this war was launched to give higher profits to the oil plutocrats in America. Therefore, more cars will be running for a longer period, which translates into more pollution and a more degraded environment for us. I wouldn't worry much about my own future, but the fact is that I've never heard of a polar bear going to the Salvation Army to get a bunk for the night or wait in line for a bowl of (fish, or seal ) soup. I had no choice, after all. I had to become a political Nanook in this melting Arctic.