BAIRD IN BALI

As much as I want to keep silent and admire what is left of this vast, cold and beautiful Arctic world of mine, I can't help to see the jaw that chatters nonsensically in Ottawa. "We won't do anything until the US does something for the environment" is the motto of the pathetic conservatives now in Government. Such is the tirade we have to endure from the succesor of Donna Ambrose as Minister of the Environment. Now the clattery yapada-yipidi comes out from John Baird's big mouth and tiny brain. Where is his brain? Doesn't he know that a toothpick has more concern for the planet than George Bush?

ONE BEAR PER WEEK

Have you ever seen mi pawns? To have an idea, put together both thumbs and stretch your fingers sideways. Do you see how wide your ten fingers and two hands become? Well, that's the size of just ONE of my pawns. Now, try to type your next blog posting with such devices. It's like trying to hold a butterfly with a boxing glove. That's why I write only once a week, unless I end up swimming for days in the sea, looking for a decent chunk of ice to rest and sleep after chasing seals without good results.
Now that October is around the corner, we bears must go to town before winter settles in. And town for us is Churchill, a tiny spot in Manitoba. Here are few lines written by Jamie Doward on a Sunday edition of The Observer: "Churchill describes itself as the polar bear capital of the world, and if it wasn't for the bears it would struggle to exist. The town is a testament to the way eco-tourism is now big business, a force for regeneration. In October, Canada's bears start their migration north into the Arctic, where they devour seals with abandon and nearly double their body weight. Situated on the south-western edge of the mighty Hudson Bay, the town lies slap bang in the path of the bears as they head for colder climes. The huge mammals can move at more than 30 mph, even those that weigh more than 1,000lb (70 stone) and stand 12ft tall on their back legs. They look semi-comatose, the result of having not eaten for months, but the merest whiff of food will send them charging across the ice."
Now just to scare your socks off there are some horror stories about bear attacks. It's true that for us bears a human is a tasty snack when there's nothing else around to eat. Hunting seals is getting harder these days because of the thinning ice up North. On top of this, a seal will never approach a bear. On the contrary. But guess who comes around with a video or a photo camera in hand? Not a seal but a human. And, of course, we are not going to eat the camera. (it's REALLY hard to digest) But we are hungry. And the humans are there, sleeping inside the tent. The spirit is strong, but the gut is weak. And by the way, why are we not getting our regular, traditional meals? Because of the Grasshopper Effect! So, please, don't blame us. Consider yourself tasty indeed. Think of this when you drive your car. Alone. And there's a bus, public transportation. Who knows, if you use more public transportation, in the long run we wont need to hunt these furless humans thet venture in our vast lands. If you use public transportation at leat once a week I won't eat you. I promess that with my big paw around your shoulder.

THE CANADIAN TOOTHPICK AND THE US PRESIDENT

Some bad bears told me that a toothpick has more brain cells than president George W. Bush. I refused to believe such nonsense. Go eat fungus! I told my fellow brown bears in disbelief. But I'm starting to suspect that they may be right after all. I saw that man people call "mr. presidente" on TV, giving a scared seven minute speech to the young American soldiers clapping around him in the sands of Anbar province. He was STANDING on the sands of Irak. Like, that's going to happen to the entire planet if humans don't curb their gas guzzling and their fantastic way of consuming the resources of our world. And yet the man was saying the same old tirade about terrorist rampaging on the streets of downtown USA (which, to say the least, leaves the conclusion that his entire army of border guards are a clueless bunch of penguins that won't be able to stop what they call "terrorists"). If anybody comes to meddle in a bear's home, or wants to occupy a bear's den, the bear will be so mad that he'll chew to pieces the intruder's derrière until he leaves. My instinct tells me that that's happening in Irak. The British got wind of it. They took their calculators, added how many acts of violence were happening in Basra and they realized that they were the main cause of so much angry rockets, home-made road bombs and general shooting. So they decided to leave. I'm totally convinced that if the USA was ever invaded, every American citizen would become a crafty insurgent against the occupation. No less can be expected of ordinary Iraqis. That is why every American life lost in Iraq is a double loss because there is no glory in dying on behalf of a lying president and his hyper-rich friends. (Wolfowitz himself admitted that the invasion was launched to get the Iraqi oil before anybody else)
Bush was in Irak today to snub his own puppet, Maliki, and to justify a war based on lies. First was the funguticus about weapons of mass destruction. None was found. Now he wants people to believe that they had to invade and remain in Irak in order to fight terrorism. This man may actually be the lost link between reptiles and humans, because he continues and insists in being lost. His own CIA told him a number of times that there was absolutely no link between Hussein and the compadre of the Bush family, Osama ben Laden. It was George Bush senior who funnelled tons of cash to the mujahedeen boys so they can keep fighting the Soviets in Afghanistan on behalf of the Americans. In a way, Al Qaeda is the son with the turban of US foreign policy in the region. The house of Bush fomented their existence, they gave them weapons, money, and the confidence that, if they can defeat the Soviets, they can also defeat the Americans.
Another interesting element is that four years after the invasion, Bush still has to enter Irak like a thief. Not even the most powerful army on the planet can guarantee his safety if he was ever to announce his visit in advance. Just like a thief, or a coward. Give him an M16 and a helmet and send him to Sadr City. The man will piss in his pants. Now what concerns this bear is not the sad limitations of a befuddling American president. What worries all bears is that this war was launched to give higher profits to the oil plutocrats in America. Therefore, more cars will be running for a longer period, which translates into more pollution and a more degraded environment for us. I wouldn't worry much about my own future, but the fact is that I've never heard of a polar bear going to the Salvation Army to get a bunk for the night or wait in line for a bowl of (fish, or seal ) soup. I had no choice, after all. I had to become a political Nanook in this melting Arctic.

THE MONTEBELLO FIASCO

Never a hurricane, in this case Dean, was so aptly used to hide in the obscurity the deals proposed and discussed between the three amigos and the 30 oligarchs, or rather, investors and CEOS from Canada, Mexico and the States. With their ill-acquired millions, those 30 fat cats rented the ears of the three North American political skunks for a few hours. By Tuesday at noon, hurricane Dean came in handy to quickly dismiss the meeting. Nothing was clarified about the future of this fair land.
And the journalists! How mistreated and patronized were they! Sit up. Stand up. Don't move. Don't ask. Remain seated. The final documents were given well after the so-called press conference that closed the gathering took place. There was the vociferous man from Texas at the podium, speaking with infinite arrogance on behalf of ordinary Afghanis. There was Barney from Ottawa, unwilling to tell Canadians what he was really discussing with the international stomper (water access?, shared no-fly lists? further military engagements?) Calderón, the eager exporter of his own compatriots was there too, trying to convince Bush to take in more Mexicans instead of trying to solve the profound economic inequalities in his country. How come many Mexicans are forced to leave their country in order to get a decent income when, at the same time, the richest man on the planet, Carlos Slim, lives in Mexico and makes his money off Mexicans and other Latin Americans? (On August 8, 2007, Fortune magazine reported that Carlos Slim had overtaken Bill Gates as the world's richest man. Carlos Slim's estimated fortune soared to US$59 billion, based on the value of his public holdings at the end of July.)
Of course, not a single word about us Polar bears or our environment, besides that verbal fencing between George W. Butcher and Steven Barney about ownership of the Arctic. (Actually, it belongs to us bears, we live here and we were here long before maps of this region were drawn).

THIS BEAR WAKES UP AT THE FURY IN MONTEBELLO

I went for a nap, and seven months have passed since my last entry. The sound of the fury woke me up. The young, the concerned are going to rattle the police lines in Montebello in the next few days. You don't have to have the brains of an Einstein to understand that nothing good is coming for us bears from that meeting in Montebello. Just look who's going to be there, an American president whose brains seem to be smaller than of a penguin, sending kids without papers or chance to go to college to die in Irak, so the Cheney posse can sleep well over their ill-acquired millions, a Mexican president that stole an election and a crusty Canadian Prime Minister, eager to sacrifice our own kids in Afghanistan to please Bush and manipulate the democratic process in the way.
What are they going to discuss? Whatever it is, it will benefit mostly that crust of 30 fats cats, the "private sector", the "investors", those people that know the price of everything but not the value of one single Polar Bear. As long as the business elite in North America doesn't assume its social responsabilities, all of us will have to endure more pollution and more environmental damage. So, I went to sleep, I wake up and I see that things are getting pretty tough in my melting homeland.

THERE'S SOMETHING ROTTEN IN OTTAWA (AND AT THE WHITE HOUSE TOO!)

To this bear's nose, and despite the distance, something smells rotten in Ottawa. On this Sunday, the Conservative government has unveiled a plan to spend $300 million over four years to encourage homeowners, businesses and industry to use energy more efficiently. Former Liberal leadership contender Bob Rae has charged that the Harper Conservatives now realize that they have missed the boat completely on the environment in general, and on global warming in particular. My gut tells me that the Conservatives are switching positions on the environment as fast as they can. Harper, the focused chihuahua of the North at the service of emperor Bush knows that if they don't come up with some theatrical declarations in favor of the Arctic, they are going to lose the next federal election. That sly fox of Brian Mulroney has been pushing that message for a while because he knows that the Conservatives have to neutralize quickly both the green Dion, le chef liberal, and the surprising upsurge of the Green Party. Also, preparing the optics for the coming election, in order to woo the vote of Arab Canadians in Quebec, Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay expressed concerns about the route of Israel's security barrier on his recent tour of the Middle East. And yet, having the occasion, with his Israeli counterpart Tzipi Livni by his side and in front of the cameras, he kept silent about a number of UN Resolutions recognizing the right to return of the Palestinian refugees.
My fellow bears could argue that the situation in the Middle East or the inevitable US defeat (again) in Irak have absolute no relationship with the preservation of our Arctic environment. But the link between us bears and the absurd invason of Irak is profound. The House of Bush sent hundreds of thousands of American kids to invade a country, after lying to them and their families that crafty devil of Saddam was hiding weapons of mass destruction. (Saddam the despot, the good old friend of Rumsfeld during the war against Iran) It was a wholly funguticus lie. Wolfowitz himself declared that the only reason to invade Irak was to make sure that only American oil elites would reap the benefits of such resource. The White House, instead of establishing benchmarks for the construcction of new cars less polluting, less oil consuming, instead of funding massively public transportation, instead of promoting a new economy with less oil, the Bush, the Cheney and all the oil plutocrats just simply dont get a rat's ass for the environment. They just want to get the oil, the money and let the planet, with all the bears and the humans, go to the devil's hole. Also this bear has no doubt that most kinds under uniform are true patriots, but how many had to go to the army to try to get education that otherwise is accesible only to the rich? how many of those kids are in Irak with the illusion of getting their papers and become legal residents? And how many children of the oil plutocrats are in the army, risking their necks in Irak? You won't get this research on FOX or CNN, because there is nothing more tragic than a misinformed patriot. Or a leader proud of his own ignorance.

MY FAILED HIBERNATION

This long silence started with an email from a friend from the South (actually Nelson, BC), a brown bear with the name of Roosevelt. He said that I shouldn't complain so much on behalf of polar bears about the climate up here. According to Roosevelt, brown bears were wandering in the forests, all screwed-up and confused with the environmental changes. "We simply can't hibernate!, it's too warm and soggy inside our dens! If you don't believe me, jut try it!" He seemed very depressed. (You would also be depressed if scientist decide to label you with a name like Ursus Arctos Horribilis. That is his name. It is a horrible name. So he changed it to Roosevelt, I guess in hommage to the US president, and being an omnivore grizzly as he is, Rossevelt has a penchant for lost American hunters. He says they are a bit bigger and chewy than slinky Canadians)
So I did try to hibernate. It feel OK for the first week or two. But after that it was hell. It was like trying to sleep under a pile of wet towels after a sweaty hockey game. It was like going to the Bahamas inside a parka. If Roosevelt thinks that I shouldn't complain about the weather, he is really the one who shouldn't complain. After all, there are about 200,000 brown bears in the world. The largest populations are in Russia, with 120,000, the United States, with 32,500, and Canada with 21,750. In comparison, Polar Bears like me, we number only 25,000 in the entire planet. Better, in the whole Solar System. We have to reproduce. And fast. For this 2007 I'll dedicate myself to such noble and titillating endeavor.